Marital blues and steps you can take to avoid them

Marriage, for those of us who are unmarried, often looks like the next great adventure to embark on. On the other hand, some married couples might experience the blues after getting married or after a few years into their marriages.

Some common reasons for marital blues and ways of combatting them are discussed below:

  1. Financial difficulties: Sometimes, when a spouse is having job problems, or is in some other sort of difficulty, a gap opens up between him/her and his significant other. This can even reach a dangerous situation. To avoid financial difficulties, it is wise to have a plan, and make a budget on yearly and monthly spending. It is also advisable to cut back on unnecessary expenses.
  2. Infidelity: Infidelity does not always have to be of the physical nature. It can even be emotional. Often, if a spouse feels that his/her significant other is being intimate with someone else, it can really drive a wedge into their marriage. To check this issue, it is wise to ascertain the compatibility  of two people before they get into marriage.
  3. Complaints: Often, when things get rough, we may get into the habit of blaming it all on our significant others. This has extremely detrimental effects. Complaining is never the solution. Blaming is not the right way of addressing issues. The only good method is communication. Communication means getting one’s point across without emotionally blackmailing the other person. Communication is key to a successful marriage.
  4.  Lack of interest in one’s spouse: Many a time, after being married, people tend to become disinterested in their significant others. Then, without knowing, a wall seems to rise up. This wall separates a person from his/her marriage partner, and may give rise to emotional problems such as feelings of loneliness and depression. To combat this, it is always wise to keep the excitement alive in marriage. Couples can do this by going on retreats, or taking vacations where only the couple, not their off-springs, can spend some quality time together.
  5. Excessive pressure from kids: Once a kid comes to a couple’s life, he/she becomes the focus of everyone’s attention. Husband becomes father and wife becomes mother. In doing so, the role of husband and wife is often neglected. This can translate to an unsatisfied marriage. Hence, it is preferable that a husband and wife spend some time only in each other’s company every day or every week, away from the pressure of being a mom or being a dad.
  6. Career: Often, people tend to focus more on their careers than their families. This makes for a vibrant career but a lacklustre home life. To combat this, people should set apart some quality time for their families. It does not have to be that they should spend a lot of time with their families. What is important is to make sure whatever little time they spend with their family is “quality” time.
  7. Undue dependence on technology: Social media, while bringing us ever closer, often tend to create barriers between our closest ones. This can happen to couples too. They become too invested in checking their emails, responding to messages or just scrolling through the Facebook homefeed, while forgetting the person sitting next to them. To deal with this issue, couples can set an upper limit on the amount of time they spend on their laptops and mobile phones while at home or in a personal setting.

Marriage is a lifelong undertaking. Of course there will be tough times on the way. But that should not prevent us from creating a meaningful relationship that lasts through it all.

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