Marriage is a necessary part of our life. In Bangladesh, most marriages are arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by individuals, particularly by family members, such as the parents. The bliss of conjugal life can fully be enjoyed only if you understand your partner properly. In this blog, we are going to discuss 15 questions to ask your future partner before getting married if you want to avoid conflict and enjoy this new journey.
Does each partner understand and respect the other’s choices?
Understanding and respect are two important parts of any relationship. Even if they have disagreements they need to have understanding and respect for each other. Suppose the wife wanted to admit their kid in Bengali medium and the husband wanted English Medium. Without screaming at each other, they need to sit down and talk about the benefits of each type of school and the reason they want to choose that particular medium.
How will they take decisions together?
The to-be couples will start to make decisions from the beginning. What to buy for a relative, what to do with their income, what will happen if both of them become jobless and so on are the decisions they need to take together. The would-be couples should discuss it before getting married.
How will they handle conflict?
No matter how much you love your partner you will have disagreements as you both will hold onto your own beliefs. It’s quite normal and healthy. Physical aggression, hurting each other’s feelings, and saying things that will lower their self-esteem are not acceptable. Having arguments without hurting the other’s feelings is one of the keys to having a successful marriage. So before committing to each other ask your partner what happens when you two have an argument or dispute with each other.
Are they quick to forgive and good at apologizing
Disagreements are pretty normal for a couple. However, if they hold a grudge, this will wreak havoc on their relationship. Healthy relationships are those who could forget their past and move forward with their present. So they need to ask questions about it and observe if they are quick to apologize and forgive.
What would be the categories of expenses?
The newlywed couple begins a new journey without the dependency on their parents. They have to figure out how they are going to manage their expense and what would be categories they are going to spend money on before this life-changing event.
What are their financial goals?
Before tying the knot, they have to figure out how they are going to use their income, how much they can save and what would they do with that savings. It will be beneficial to have a healthy and smooth marital life.
How do they feel about debt?
The living expense is getting higher day by day. A situation may arise where they couldn’t continue only with their income so they have to search for an alternate way which is debt. A couple should discuss before what they would do if such a situation arises and what they feel about debt.
How many kids do they want?
Husband and wife need to have a serious conversation if they want to have kids. If both aren’t on the same page, it may cause stress on their marital life. One should not involve in a relationship thinking that the person will change his mind about having kids if they clearly said this is something that they don’t want to do. When one person decides to have kids and the other person didn’t can be a source of a heated argument.
What values they should teach their children
After being on the same page about having kids, they have to decide how they want to raise their kid and what values they want to teach their kids. When a couple decides to have a kid, it will either bring them closer or further apart. The values are mainly influenced by the way both were brought up. The to be coupled need to be on the same page so ask a lot of questions and be clear on how you want to raise the kids. It will ensure that you are thinking similarly.
How will they handle a parental decision?
Being a parent means they always have to be there for their child. Sometimes the child may become stubborn or takes a bad decision, parents should handle them together with care and try to understand why they are thinking about it and listen to their reason. They should make their child understand why that is a bad idea and what would be its disadvantage. The couple won’t be able to do that on the spot so they should discuss this matter before marriage, otherwise conflict may arise.
How involved do they want their parents in their parenting
Grandparents play an important part in a child’s life. How much they want grandparents to be involved in their child’s life and a parental decision should be discussed before the marriage to avoid such conflict during their marital life.
How will they share their household chores & responsibilities
Nowadays the concept that women should take care of their house and do all the household chores is fading. Women are becoming more independent. Now husband and wife manage the house together. So it should be discussed before the marriage how they will share the responsibilities and household chores.
Do they need some time alone?
The couple may become so engulfed in their marital life, they will not have any time for themselves. They may become depressed and irritated with life. So it should be discussed before if they need some time for themselves and how much they need.
How they should share quality time with both families
A marriage doesn’t only connect two people but also two families. A couple should spend some quality time with two families and have a good relationship with them. They should discuss before how much time they will spend with each family.
What excites them about getting married
Getting married is an exciting new phase of life. But you need to make sure that you are getting married for the right reasons and both of you are prepared for it. Marriage is a combination of lots of responsibilities. If you are only tying the knot because of family pressure or your friends are getting married there is a low chance of having a happy married life. Everything must have a reason. So, make sure your future partner and you are getting married willingly.
There are so many other questions that should be asked before getting married. These questions will help to avoid conflict and know your life partner a little bit more.