If you are a man, chances are at some point you have developed fondness for a girl. Oftentimes, you may have found it difficult to approach her because of embarrassment and shyness. Here, we are giving you some pointers you can use to approach the lady who has a grasp on your heart:
- Be confident: As cliched as this sounds, being confident is essential. It does not mean you have to think yourself a macho man or a man with no faults. That is overconfidence and that is actually harmful. What being confident means is that you understand you are an independent person who can handle a conversation with a girl you like. If you are introverted and shy, build your confidence bit by bit by first talking to strangers and occasional acquaintances. Talk with the shopkeeper, talk with your colleagues. Talk with classmates who aren’t your friends. If you haven’t before, talk with your distant relatives. By striking up these conversations, you will soon become more accustomed to having and holding conversations. And once you improve your conversational skills, you will automatically gain confidence.
- Be respectful: We live in a traditional, guarded society. It is thus vital to maintain boundaries. Do not be rude when approaching a girl. Do not send her unwarranted messages. Understand if she comes from a conservative family. If so, it might be wiser to approach her parents or guardians before approaching her. And once you converse with her, start by getting to know her. Do not be hasty.
- Show interest: When you approach a girl, be candid and show interest. There’s no point in mincing your words. Don’t tell her a blatant lie such as “I only want to be your friend,” when in actuality you want something else. Be frank about your feelings for her. Of course, be measured in doing so. If you have met her on an online platform such as Biyeta, politely inform her of your interest so that you can take it further.
- Do not approach her when she is busy: Do not approach her when she is otherwise occupied. If she is talking with her friends or completing her assignment, do not suddenly interject. She might find it rude and offensive. Approach her when you know she is available. Such as when she is looking your way or not doing anything in particular.
- Make eye-contact: When you are having a conversation with a girl you like, be sure to make eye-contact. This is crucial. Making eye-contact shows you are a confident, normal person. She might feel uncomfortable if there’s no eye-contact. Of course, keep in mind that eye-contact should be brief. Prolonged eye-contact can weird her out.
- Be truthful: Do not lie about your achievements and feats. If you start including lies in your speech, it is liable to give bad results. Be honest about yourself. If you are shy, admit it. Being truthful will give you good results in the long run.
- Follow up prudently: Once you have had a primary conversation with her, follow up. But do so prudently. Do not assume you know all about her just because of one conversation. So be polite in your successive attempts. You can do so by saying, “Hey, remember we had tea together the other day?” or something like that. Keep in mind, you are getting to know her in hopes of starting a relationship that might result in marriage. And relationships require time and effort.
- Figure out if she is off-limits: Find out whether she is in a relationship or not. If she is, it is well-advised that you don’t approach her. There is no point in trying to ruin the relationship of another person. After all, if you like someone, you have to think about that person’s well-being. Ruining a relationship just to get your way is not an ethical thing to do. Also, make sure she is of marriageable age. Do not approach her if she is underage. Furthermore, do not be dejected if you are rejected. Don’t take it personally. Give it some time and then, move on.
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