Are you in a relationship that is not progressing at a rate you would like? Or perhaps a marriage that is failing and not as fulfilling as you thought it would be? Then read on. We are presenting some tips on how to have a strong, happy and healthy relationship. Particularly in the context of marital life:
- Be honest: One of the main reasons for relationships falling apart is the speaking of lies. You may lie to your spouse one day. Two days. And it adds up. And suddenly, you are faced with a mountain of lies on which you stand. If your significant other suddenly finds out you have been lying to him or her from the get-go, it can have a devastating effect on your relationship. So be honest as much as possible. While the truth may be harsh, it is wise to follow “honesty is the best policy”.
- Be communicative: Open up to your husband or your wife. If you are unmarried, to your boyfriend or your girlfriend. The more you keep your emotions bottled up, the more dangerous and potentially explosive they become. Suppose you do not approve of a habit your partner has. Tell that to your partner in a polite but straightforward manner. That way, your partner will know what it is that is irritating you. On the other hand, if you keep quiet and don’t tell your partner anything, a day might come when in a fit of rage you will explode and it could even spell the end of your relationship.
- Be appreciative: We live in a busy world. Both husbands and wives usually work from nine to five. Sometimes even more. In this busy lifestyle, often the last people we think about are our life-partners. We take them for granted. But that is a big mistake. Remember, no one else knows what goes on in your mind apart from yourself. So, no matter how much you love your husband/wife, if you do not show him/her that love from time to time, he/she is liable to feel left out and abandoned. Therefore, be appreciative. It does not mean you have to buy your significant other a luxury car or an iPhone (though that might help!), it means you should routinely check up on him/her and present small tokens and gestures of gratitude and love.
- Be pragmatic: This is vital. While it is fanciful to think of Romeo and Juliet and how a romance like that might stand out, it is better to be realistic about your love life. No, it does mean you should abandon the idea of undying, eternal love. It means you should not look out for movie-style love stories. Because oftentimes, those stories are very far-detached from reality. So do not expect your husband to sing you to sleep after he had been out all day swamped in work and traffic. Do not expect your wife to cook food all the time when she has a job herself. Be realistic. Understand what your spouse can or cannot do given the circumstances.
- Be more giving: Give your partner more than you receive. And always focus on giving more positive experiences than negative ones. For every negative experience you inflict on your partner (unintentionally or otherwise), try to give them three or four positive experiences.
- Keep the relationship fresh and new: Whether you have just become a bride or a groom, or you’ve been in a marriage for thirty years with kids graduating, you should try to keep the love with your partner fresh and vibrant. Go on dinner dates. Find some time every week or every month to do something for just the two of you. This is vital. Human beings crave new experiences. Hence a strong and healthy relationship requires you to always try out new things with your soulmate.
- Give your partner space: Do not think that, just because you are someone’s husband/wife, her/his whole life will revolve around you. That is not how human beings are. Every human being is a separate entity. Hence your life-partner needs some alone-time. Same is true for you. While being intimate is important, personal space has its merits.
- Have a “we” attitude: You and your partner are a team. You will live together, and might even have kids together. So learn to adopt the “we” attitude. It increases bonding and ensures greater stability in a relationship.
- Take responsibility for your partner: “Your problem is your problem, my problem is mine.” This is a no-no. In a relationship, whatever problem your partner has is likely to affect you. If your partner loses a job or goes through a bad experience, it is up to you to try and bring your partner out from depression. You have to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader and supporter. If you do that, your partner will feel loved and cared for. And it will increase the chance of you getting the same support back.
- Be committed: Your marriage, or your relationship, depends on your commitment. So give it priority. Do not be in a relationship just to pass time. Worse, do not marry if you are not ready or not truly in love with your partner. When you commit, commit fully. Committing is key to a good and sustainable relationship. You marry in the hope of starting a family. A family can not go far without commitment.
- Don’t fall into the trap of blame game: When things go south, we often point our fingers at our spouses. We find all sorts of excuses to cover up our own faults and focus on putting all the blame on our partners. This is not just a folly but a major blunder. We end up disheartening our partners. When things turn sour, it is wiser to take a step back and analyse the situation in a calm and logical way. That way, instead of finding someone to blame, we can find out ways to overcome the situation. In this case, the “we” attitude in tip no. 8 helps.
Hope the above advice is useful if you are going through a tough time. You can find out more such blog posts on our blog page. If you are looking for a life-partner, you can sign up at biyeta.com.